Many couples discuss starting a family before they even get married to find out if they’re on the same page. They often talk about how many children would be best. For some couples, having one child is ideal, while for others, having more is best. So how do you decide what’s right for you?
Choose your preference
Maybe you come from a big family while your spouse comes from a small one. Sometimes, people with small families want what they never had. People from big families often want to recreate the big family experience. Talk it out with your partner, ideally before marriage, so you can decide what suits you best.
Having one child means that child will be less social unless you work hard to bring her around cousins and playmates. When you have more than one child, relationships are built among siblings and parents. It can be both positive and negative as the more children you have, the more competition there is for your attention as well as for space and resources. You want to make sure you plan to take time out to spend with each child.
One of the biggest factors to consider when it comes to how many children you should have is money. It’s expensive to raise a family. Even with insurance, hospital costs are pricey, plus all the costs that follow after each child comes into the world. You’ll need to budget for diapers, food, clothing, and education. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! Your kids will grow up and want to participate in sports, dance, or some other activity and you’ll have to come up with the money for that too.
Plus, what will you do should your child be born with a condition or disability, or even develop one in their childhood? Certainly, no one wants to think about a topic like this, but it’s important to consider when planning for your future. Fearing this is no way to live though. If your family histories are relatively healthy, you have a better chance of having healthy babies. Just be aware of the costs before you start having a big family.
Bringing children into the world involves a lot of thought. It shouldn’t be something you do just because you think babies are “cute.” And while they are indeed cute, that cuteness isn’t so much fun at 3am when she won’t stop crying no matter what you do. You need to prepare yourself for the realities of raising a family. So think hard about what that means to you when you make your decision about how many children to have.